Spring can only mean one thing here in the suburban jungle, weeds. Never has the adage, we must fight them over there or we fight them over here been more apropos. An Al Kweeda splinter cell has taken up the fight right here in my own front yard.

This morning forward scouts reported activity on the eastern front. The Egyptian neighbor had a tanker truck in front of his house. Kem el Awn or something on the side with hoses and sprayers.

So chemical warfare eh? Two can play that game. A quick run up to my local WMD dealer, Lowes, yielded an unsatisfying gallon of premixed Spectracide. We’ll see. In the meantime I have feelers out to see if I can score some of the concentrate which I can mix to my own lethal formula and distribute using my previously acquired WMD distribution device.

I mean what the hell? With only one watering day per week the lawn is going to be brown all year anyway. At least it won’t have any unsightly green spots with yellow dandelions growing out the top.

Developing…