Sometimes just the thought of breaking up is hard. And the mechanics of a break up, brutal. It’s never quite a clean break. It is a process. It starts with “we need a break” then goes through the stage where texts, calls, emails go unanswered. Then there is the glimmer of hope, where they start to think maybe they are making a mistake. Then. No, this is what they want. This can all repeat several times. Or as many times as you will allow it. Mixed signals. Overthinking. Hope. Reality. Depression. Then finally, the break to end all breaks, the break up. Never to see each other again, or worse – let’s be friends. You mean too much to me for me to not have you in my life. This is a life sentence of repeated Hope. Reality. Depression. Which leads me to this:

I’m torn between two fears: to see you once more or never again. I can’t tell which frightens me more. ~ from Confessions to the moon